Daughterly Care Blog
Hello Daughterly Care Caregivers and the families of our clients living with a dementia diagnosis,
Happy New Year
Let’s make 2018 a great year for us all and to that end I would like to introduce to you, Bob De Marco – the loving son of Dotty, who had Alzheimer’s.
Bob is an American son who gave up work to care full time for his elderly mother and shared his experience with the world via his daily blogging. His Alzheimer’s Reading Room is one of the most read blogs about dementia and it is full of practical advice.
This blog has been re-published here with Bob’s permission and at the end there is a link to his original blog. Please forgive his American spelling and his blunt and politically incorrect terms like “nutty behaviour”.
This article is well worth reading and if the advice is applied, it will reduce carer stress.
What do you think – was this blog helpful for you?
Leave a comment below. Also perhaps you could share how you cope with being told to get out or other hurtful comments.
Daughterly Care CEO & Co-Founder
Learn More from Bob:
Cope. To face and deal with responsibilities, problems, or difficulties in an effective and calm manner or way.
Coping requires us to make our own conscious effort to solve personal and interpersonal problems. This allows us to minimize stress, reduce conflict, and to better understand our situation.
Emotional super glue a bond that holds two people together and rises to a level that is so powerful, so all encompassing, that it can only be described in this way – you are bonded together by emotional super glue.
Caregiver is a person who gives help and protection to someone who is sick or in need.
Empathy the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
Compassion a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate their suffering.
Dementia care is the art of looking after and providing for the needs of a person living with Alzheimer’s disease or a related dementia.
Flexibility the willingness to change or compromise.
Anger is a normal, sometimes healthy, human emotion. However, when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to a deterioration in personal relationships and a reduction in the quality of life.
Loneliness often occurs in Alzheimer’s and dementia care because our family and friends abandon us.
Bob DeMarco is the Founder of the Alzheimer’s Reading Room (ARR).
The Alzheimer’s Reading Room contains more than 5,000 articles and has been published daily since July, 2009.
Labels: alzheimers care , alzheimers meanness , alzheimers stress , coping with dementia , dementia care , dementia care at home , mean
This Festive Season Busy Adult Children will Discover their Elderly Parents are not Coping
When busy adult children spend extended time with their elderly parents this Christmas and New Year Season they may notice that their parents’ quality of life has declined and frankly, they need a little help.
It may come as a shock to recognise elderly parents are not coping the way they used to. As families grow and move interstate or further apart, it’s at the family gatherings like the festive season when we get together and spend time with each other that we are more likely to realise the differences in elderly parent’s appearance, responsiveness, demeanour, mobility, behaviour and tiredness.
Are these little changes that indicate age is being kind to them or are these warning signs that are showing a decline with Elderly Parent’s health?
Here are some signs to watch out for with older people (parents, siblings, friends, neighbours) that can indicate they are not coping as well as they have done before:
Medication not being taken?
You can see from the Webster-pak that your parent is not taking their medication, or taking it sporadically.
Unexpected disorder in their home?
Your house proud parents are not keeping up. Old, off food in the fridge.
Personal hygiene has slipped?
Dirty clothing being worn. Your parent isn’t maintaining personal hygiene and this is new.
You can now see that forgetfulness is impacting your parent’s quality of life.
Your normally alert and happy parent is noticeably ‘down’.
The 5 alerts to be aware of, as mentioned above are the major areas of concern that show prospective signs an elderly parent is struggling to cope with daily life that you can check on during this busy festive season.
Additionally, there are a number of other indicators you may not be on the lookout for, that your elderly parent is battling with tasks and chores that used to be easily undertaken by them.
In home care keeps Elders living safely and happily at home for life
In-home care solves many challenges Elders face. Our lovely experienced in-home caregivers can pop-in and spend 2 or more hours, provide over-night care or even around the clock, 24 live in care with your parent while you are working, travelling or busy with your children or grandchildren.
To book a couple of hours in-home care call our office on 9970 7333. We’re on-call 24 hours, 7 days a weeks after business hours for emergencies.
We hope you have a very Merry Christmas and wish you a Safe and Joyful New Year.
To book a couple of hours in-home care call
Tel: 9970 7333
Daughterly Care CEO & Co-Founder
With Christmas and New Year approaching, I thought you might benefit from meeting an Englishman from Shropshire, George Rook who was 63 when he was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia and Alzheimer’s young onset dementia. People with young onset dementia tend to be diagnosed much earlier in the disease and therefore have many more years of being able to express themselves well compared to older people who slip into dementia, often without diagnosis until much later in the disease.
George first started writing about his dementia online in August 2014 when he was 63.
When someone with young onset dementia like George, shares their experiences and feelings they are giving us some insight into the experiences and feelings of all the people living with a dementia, regardless of their age.
George wrote the blog below last week to express how he was feeling as he approaches this busy, noisy, celebratory time of year and after he and his wife recently had guests stay for 3 nights. George gave permission for Daughterly Care to re-publish his blog below.
As you rush towards Christmas trying to make everything perfect and perhaps feeling stressed because it isn’t perfect, just breathe deeply and remember, the most precious gift you can give is your happy, relaxed self.
Just ‘happily and calmly enjoying your family’ is perfect and enough
- Holding your Mother’s hand while watching the Carols by Candlelight Christmas Eve and singing along with her is a wonderful gift of unconditional love. Even better if the grandchildren can be there too and sing along. When you are singing Christmas Carols with your family you don’t have a dementia – you are just enjoying Christmas with your family.
- Watching the cricket and having a beer with your Dad is a wonderful gift of unconditional love. When you are talking about cricket with your family, you don’t have a dementia – you are just enjoying a favourite past time.
- Going for a walk along the beach as an extended family is a gift to your parents as they enjoy nature and watching their grandchildren run and skip to meet the incoming waves and then run away.
Forgive all imperfection and just be, moment after moment. Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Reprinted with George Rook’s permission, here is his most recent blog:
You can read George’s blog; George Rook living with dementia as well as I can.